A Dog Who Wishes To Remain Anonymous (not Sid)
Invariably, as Nature does, it all began in the most innocent of
circumstances: the dogs and I were up the drive to fetch our mail, about
200 yards with a 24% grade. Just 1/3 of the way left to the box and kapow!
I had harsh reality--cold and immediate and brutal--smack me hard.
A.D. (Anonymous Dog) comes trotting up after lagging behind. As he/she
passed I realized there was something, a small creature in their mouth.
Evidently for a about 30-45 minutes judging by the chewed-up-ness of "it".
Once I realized I was looking at a dead animal in the mouth of A.D.,
I asked that it be "handed over" and it was, immediately.
No, it wasn't another turtle
It was a young bird (able to fly but just).
I bent down and assuming she was dead, wished her a good
journey...then I saw it:
It was still [fucking] breathing.
Barely alive but nonetheless
Damnit, why do I have to deal with this?
I hate this. It's bad enough using lethal injection but all I had was me.
I tugged off four big green oak tree leaves from the branch hanging over
my head, putting two on the drive and using the other two to lift the bird
onto and covering it.
Then I stood still, staring at the leaves.
I walked on, grappling with leaving a living creature to suffer further,
knowing I was tripping if I thought I could keep moving on...
...I turned around walked back to the leaf coffin and stared down again.
With nothing but pure primal angst, I screamed a battle cry:
I stomped the dying bird three times, fast and hard.
I screamed once more and like the first one, it came from a
place I rarely visit. There was no thought before or after I screamed.
I put a few stones over the flattened leaves.
The dogs and I went to the mailbox, without a sound,
not exactly frisky but really in the moment,
and then the moment passed.
Home again, home again but no jiggity-jig.
It felt awful but life goes on
It was the right thing to do, stopping suffering, no
matter your species.
Now Tillie is here for her dinner.